Managing unacceptable behaviour is challenging for anyone. It can be time-consuming and the behaviours themselves can lower morale and significantly reduce productivity.
In ‘spicing up feedback burger’ (last month’s article) we offered some suggestions as to how to give effective feedback. This can be a key tool in managing behaviour because it:
- prompts the use of appropriate positive language
- applies the principles of using evidence
- focuses on talking about the effect of people's behaviours on other people and situations.
These are important principles to remember when it comes to managing behaviour in the workplace and can be applied whether addressing behaviour in a formal or informal way.
There's more….
Ask any experts in the field of “behaviour management” and they will tell you that the most fundamental principle is to direct people towards what you want rather than focusing on what you don't want.
In other words rather than highlighting negative behaviours which you want them to change, focus on the alternative positive behaviours that would be beneficial and on how they would make a difference.
This framing of language is a key element in communication this is highlighted particularly in techniques such as Neuro Linguistic Programing as an extremely powerful and effective communication method
Say what you want them to do!
How often do we hear people say "don't do this", "don't do that", "you shouldn't do that" or “you haven't done this”. There are two key elements to be considered:
- firstly the statements all focus on the undesirable behaviour rather than on what the individual needs to do instead.
The language used should be framed positively:
"It would be better if you did this. You would get better results and create a better impact "
- Secondly, what we understand about Neuro Linguistic Programming is that the brain will focus on the active, key words of the sentence and ignore words like don't, shouldn't, couldn't etc.
For example; What is the urge if someone says “don’t open the box” and what happens if someone says “don’t imagine a blue spade” – did you see one too?
This is something that you can start using in simple ways today.
Start by thinking about the language that you’re using.
- Challenge yourself when you start to use negative language like “doesn't, don't, can't, shouldn't, haven't, didn't, never, etc.”
- Stop check and think about what you need this person to do or change or whether in fact you are focusing on current “poor” behaviour. Reverse the psychology and use positive and encouraging language to elicit the desired behavioural response.
Practice using different language, constructing your sentences so that you focus on what is needed and use positive language only.
If you like tools you might find the one below useful too:
“Even elephants need cuddles” is a useful way to remember the acronym.
You can use it like this:
Explanation - explain the facts of the current situation in terms of the effect on others or the situation. Use examples and evidence.
Simple example:
“I have noticed that your coffee mugs have been left on your desk every evening. This has made it more difficult for the cleaner who to spend time collecting mugs and loading the dishwasher when other areas needed attention”.
Emotions - it is important to state the emotional impact of the behaviour without demonstrating them. Understanding the emotional fallout of behaviour can have a profound and positive effect on their reactions.
Simple example:
“I'm disappointed because I know that I've asked staff on several occasions to put their cups in the dishwasher before they leave. The cleaner is very concerned that important areas of the job are becoming overlooked as a result of this and they don’t want to do a bad job”.
Needs - here you simply state what you need them to do. Once again this focuses on the alternative behaviour and must use positive language, stated as a need:
Simple example:
I need you to put your cups in the dishwasher at the end of each day” (not: stop leaving your cups on the desk!)
Consequences - it is important here to state the consequences if they change their behaviour. It is an opportunity to make clear the benefits of changing behaviour.
Simple example:
“If you clear your desk of cups every evening it will make a huge difference to the cleaner and will reduce worries they have about being able to do the cleaning effectively. Your own working area will also be more clean and healthy.”
Tell them what you want them to do
Focus on the facts
Always use positive language
Links:
The Feedback Burger
NLP
PDT Home
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© People Development Team 2007
