Event Reviews

Advisor, Thinker or Virgin Goddess?  “Mentoring the power and the pitfalls”

Nomura International PLC kindly hosted an exceptional event on Wednesday 28th November 2007 featuring an outstanding panel of speakers.  The subject, ‘Mentoring, the power and the pitfalls’, gave the panellists (all experienced mentors themselves) an opportunity to share with the audience their thoughts and experiences and guide them through "everything you ever wanted to know about mentoring.”

The event was held on the 9th floor of Nomura House in their brand new conference facility – superbly decorated with imported Japanese woods.  Angela Peacock of the People Development Team chaired the event and, in anticipation, she promised that “although mentoring is not an exact science, the evening will give us all a unique opportunity to garner the thoughts of the panel and learn from their experience.”  Angela introduced the subject with a brief visit to the Greek origins of the word “mentoring”.  In mythology, the virgin goddess Athena took on the guise of Mentor in order to visit and advise Mentor’s son, Telemachus.  There were (to our knowledge) no Virgin Goddesses on the panel - but a line up that comprised:

• Stephen Sidebottom, Chair of CityHR and Nomura’s HR Director
• Atsuko Yamakawa, Managing Director, Corporate Citizenship Dept, Nomura Holdings, Inc, who had flown in form Tokyo for the event
• Kathleen Reeves, HR Director, Financial Services Authority (FSA)  and
• Frank Makan, Director, Equity Markets, Merrill Lynch.

The panel mix was engaging, offering contrasting viewpoints.  All panel members are active mentors and, without exception, positive about the impact of mentoring both as mentors and mentees.

The Pitfalls

Angela had taken questions in advance of the event and structured the discussion to focus around key issues raised.  When the panel were asked about the “dark side” and what inappropriate behaviours they had seen, they were in agreement that breaking a confidence was the ultimate sin. Frank shared an early experience when - although well intentioned - a mentor shared a confidence without first seeking his permission. Well intentioned or not the results of such actions can be devastating and cause the mentee never to enter into a similar relationship. For Frank, it spurred him on to seek and experience more positive mentors. He encourages honesty when entering into or breaking a mentoring relationship.

One of the main challenges for mentees is asking someone to mentor them in the first place.  Steven said "We fear both rejection and being told no. If you are refused it will not be a reflection on you, is it most likely because the mentor is either not able to give up enough time or that they feel their experience is not appropriate."

Kathleen suggested that using appropriate flattery may get you the desired results "I really admired the way you handled xxx and wondered if you would mentor me in that area?"  However, being specific about what you are looking for is crucial too.  Frank offered an alternative approach: by exploring your networks and finding out who you know, or people they know with the relevant experience, you can access mentors beyond your immediate circle.

Ensuring non dependency was something Stephen emphasised. "Offering solutions and options - whilst not choosing the action is key."  Atsuko was keen to add: "There must be no should do and no pushing mentees into an action - always it must be their own decisions".

Commitment

Left to Right - Angela Peacock, Stephen Sidebottom, Kathleen Reeves, Frank Makan and Atsuko Yamakawa

Time was an issue with a warning from Kathleen: you should not take on a mentee if your time is restricted and you are unable to add genuine value and commit to mentoring. Frank added that much of the mentoring he undertakes is out of working hours, although always within a professional environment. Steven’s approach was different to this – he is happy to meet in an informal situation and subsequently many of his mentees have become friends.  Atsuko has a wonderful aid to helping her mentor a wide variety of Nomura ladies in Japan – she publishes her ‘murmurings’ ( a blog) on the corporate intranet in which she tells of the highs and lows of her role and in her life. The resultant e-mails each blog post generates are always answered and options for a route forward offered.   This is a tremendous commitment on her part, and almost ‘e-mentoring’, but Atsuko assured the audience that this was not a substitute for mentoring, just a highly useful additional way to reach and help more people.

In terms of how long a commitment each had made to mentoring a particular individual, the variety was amazing.  Each panellist had mentored some individuals for a limited time and all had longer term mentoring relationships, some in excess of 15 years, even after changes of organisation for both parties.    

The power

The question of HR led mentoring programmes, where mentors are “appointed” was raised.  Angela challenged the panel - in reality, if you reject or were unhappy with the mentor you are given, will this have a negative impact on your career?  Once again Frank was keen to advocate an honest relationship from the start which would result in any difficult conversations being made simpler.  Other panellists were keen to suggest the – “it’s not you it’s me” school of mentor break up on the lines of  "Thanks so much for all I have learnt so far; it has been great and I would love to have you mentor me again next time its appropriate."

However, the panel were keen to advocate official mentor schemes and encourage organisations to take the lead in these situations.   One question from the floor asked about being ‘forced into being a mini-me’ and whether this type of mentoring was acceptable.  The panel felt that trying to ‘shape’ a mentee was misuse of the mentoring role and that no individual should be forced to accept advice that did not achieve the mentee’s aims.

The benefits

A discussion around the validity of mentoring was brief and to the point.  The panel unanimously agreed that mentoring has tremendous business benefits in improving individuals’ skills, improving morale and working practice and increasing motivation.  The panel also felt that, where appropriate, this might also involve helping individuals make major career decisions that could take them out of the business.  The overall benefits outweighed any negative impact suggested.

Inspiration

The panel were asked both who had been their greatest mentors.  Frank spoke of how his earliest mentor was his mother, who "Taught me to think of the route from A to B and also that what I wanted was not necessarily what I needed - and how to get to both."   What a definition for the perfect mentor.   Atsuko told us about a senior mentor who gave her three pieces of advice early in her career: "1. Stay cool.  2. See what goes on behind the headlines.....translate what you read in the FT to your own understanding and use your own words to decide which route to take.  3. That women are physically not the same as men and need more rest so take all holiday entitlement."  This advice was given 19 years ago in a very different culture to that of most of those present.

One question from the audience which drew divided opinion from the panel was that of bullying. "What should be done if a mentee tells you they are being bullied, or conversely what if they tell you they are doing something that you likewise find inappropriate?"   The main advice was to talk to the mentee about the issue and see what resolution could be achieved, but the controversy came when deciding whether taking any serious issues to HR or to other individuals involved should be done with or without the mentee’s knowledge or consent. 

Finally the panel were asked who their fantasy mentor would be. Atsuko said her first boss and, in particular, she is inspired by a pioneering Japanese writer who has expanded Japanese understanding of Roman history.  Frank reiterated the importance of the role of his mother as mentor and also Nelson Mandela - for many reasons, particularly his patience.    Kathleen described how a past manager had inspired her and how even now if she thought “now, how would he have done that?”, nine times out of ten she comes up with a solution.  Ending on a lighter note, Stephen said “Christopher Biggins.  Anyone who can stay in that jungle with those people and retain their sense of humour has to have my admiration.”

Angela closed the panel session emphasising that one size in mentoring will never fit all, but that the benefits are there to be had for those willing to embark on the mentoring journey.

The evening closed with thanks to Nomura, Angela and the panel from Christine Lawrence of the WIBF, who jointly promoted the event.